Marriage

I had hoped that Proposition 8 would not pass and had underestimated how upset I would be when it did. I wasn't quite expecting us to loose but I am not shocked that we have.

This is a post that I probably would not write if this blog had a large audience because it's not a post helpful to marriage equality or eradicating sexual orientation based discrimination and I would not want to damage those goals for anything. However, I felt the need to share my opinion with the internets, especially since I haven't seen it expressed elsewhere. Here it goes.

The other side has a very valid point. Marriage for same sex couples will lead to more societal acceptance for homosexuality. I believe that more acceptance of homosexuality will lead to more homosexual couples.

I believe (and I know that others disagree, and that this isn't proven by any scientific evidence but also that lots of others do share my opinion) that something like 10% of people are straight, 10% are gay, and the rest are some variety of bisexual. Now, part of my belief in this might be that I'm bi and that to imagine that someone is incapable of enjoying sex with a person of a particular gender is as difficult for me as imagining that someone is incapable of enjoying sex with a redhead when they prefer blondes. It's weird. The fact that different cultures have wildly varying incidents of homosexuality is fairly convincing that genetics are not the only factors (while the fact that homosexuality exists no matter how terribly it impacts the quality of life of individuals is convincing that individuals often can not control whom they find attractive).

So, if there are a lot of bisexuals out there, people who are equally attracted, people who are repressed, men who might prefer men but find women occasionally attractive, women who lust after both but can only 'connect' with a man, etc. then social acceptance of same sex pairing will likely lead to many more same sex romances. It logically follows that those people who think gay relationships are inferior in any way or that being gay is undesirable (if occasionally unavoidable) will not want homosexuality to be socially acceptable (and thus will have reservations against same sex marriages). Most people in the United States today, even most people who are 'accepting' and would never try to make life difficult for gay people as a general matter of course, who would accept a family member that was gay and wish them happiness and love would really prefer that no one they care about be gay. These people don't want their children growing up in a world where they see marriage as a contract between two people , who see nothing wrong with same sex relationships because then these children might go ahead and find out whether that passing fancy for that pretty girl could be something more real instead of obediently redirecting all impulses.

I don't think there's anything inferior about being homosexual or same sex relationships. I want them to be socially accepted and marraige equality is an important step for that. But truthfully? to deny that this all leading down a certain path? is disengineous. All revolutions are step by step and we'll fight this one a step at a time but the other side isn't being irrational in seeing what we're aiming for and the natural consequences. (No more so then sexists were irrational when they fought so hard against every gain for women, they knew it was going somewhere, and it is, toward equality).

ETA: Of course, today I see this, where Amanda says the same thing. (Could have saved me the time!) :)
ETA2: Oops, the above link is the second half of the post that was in my head but on second thought it doesn't mirror what I actually wrote above.